im a hostess at a restaurant and my favorite thing to do is ask 14/15 year old boys who are out on dates if they want a kids menu
i love you
all my mtv livestreams either
don’t date anyone who doesn’t want to hear your favorite song, watch your favorite movie, read your favorite book
i fucking hate how nervous people make me like i can’t even walk down the road without feeling judged and that is just ridiculous
when u accidently type me instead of my
accidentally typing “yeha” instead of “yeah”
accidentally typing olay instead of okay
ALL DOGS SEE YOU AT YOUR MOST UNFLATTERING ANGLE WHERE IT LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE TWELVE THOUSAND CHINS AND THEY ARE STILL SO HAPPY TO SEE YOUR BEAUTIFUL SELF THAT THEIR ENTIRE BODY VIBRATES, HOW GREAT IS THAT?
What’s the difference between being hungry and horny?
where you put the cucumber
me: it’s too hot
me: *opens window*
*in comes 20 flies, 8 spiders, 17 daddy long legs, 50 moths, 3 dragons and 12 Jehovah’s witnesses*
K who is the actor of the guy who owns the mobile home that they were questioning i swear ive seen him somewhere
do you ever need a five minute hug but only from like a specific person